Bestiary
The anti-patterns you've seen but couldn't name — with symptoms, stakes, and what each chapter teaches.
Take the “Which class are you?” quiz → · Run the “What's haunting your codebase?” diagnostic →
Characters
Behavioral archetypes — the developers doing the work, and how AI amplifies their instincts.
The Cleric
The process will save us.
Read the entry →
The Fighter
Charge first, ask questions never.
Read the entry →
The Rogue
Rules are for people who get caught.
Read the entry →
The Wizard
When all you have is a prompt, everything looks like a spell.
Read the entry →
Anti-Patterns
The degenerate forms each class can take when AI amplifies the wrong instincts.
Fighter anti-patterns
Wizard anti-patterns
Rogue anti-patterns
Monsters
The failures that emerge when those instincts meet tools that reward speed over judgment.
The Congealing Slop
It works on my machine (and the model's).
Read the entry →
The Phantom Intern
Who wrote this? Nobody knows.
Read the entry →
The Probability Pixie
It worked yesterday, I swear.
Read the entry →
The Scope Creep Kraken
Why not? It'll only take ten minutes.
Read the entry →
The Stagnant Miasma
If it ain't broke, don't even look at it
Read the entry →
The Temporal Tangle Worm
We'll build it when the next model comes out
Read the entry →
Coming in Volume II
The organizational anti-patterns — NPCs, and the monsters that live in the space between teams.
The Efficiency Evangelist
Every cost is a crusade
The Court Sorcerer
Whispering AI promises into executive ears
The Agent Whisperer
The model said it was fine
The Vendor Bard
Our roadmap is your destiny
The Cost Singularity
The bill that learned to grow on its own
The Autonomy Mirage
It looks self-driving until you check who's steering
Recognize one of these in your codebase?
The book has the full chapter, the symptoms, and the interventions.